If marriage represents the triumph of imagination over intelligence, as Oscar Wilde once purportedly noted, and a second marriage demonstrates the triumph of hope over experience, then the corollary in the sports media business is a little more nuanced. In the era of massive platform disruption and cash optimization, a happy marriage could best be explained as not getting screwed by one partner while simultaneously kneecapping another. And this algebra of the heart perhaps best explains the modern kerfuffle that ESPN and Major League Baseball find themselves working through at this transitional moment in the media ecosystem.